so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
