plz talk dirty to me
North Korea, Best Korea!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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