i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
