somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
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