btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
