That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
