I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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