it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
