it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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