just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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