Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize