We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize