I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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