Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
