Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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