just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize