Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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