my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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