Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
