Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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