What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
