It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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