The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
