Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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