I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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