I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
