Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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