Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
