are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
