You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We had to coat check the pizza.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
