Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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