yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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