i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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