Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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