dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
