He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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