Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
