dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
