I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
