he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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