Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
