I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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