i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Someone signed my nipple.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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