Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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