no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I stole a fireplace last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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