Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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