Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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