I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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