Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
