i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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