Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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