My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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