I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I am naked and annoyed.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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