She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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