Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
