he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
