I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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