are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
