I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
