i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
