Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Still dying that you shit outside
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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