woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
