I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
