Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
