It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
